


Crazy Loves Company

by HaleyProtega282



Series: Murder Kittens™ [1]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note: Another Note, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: A wild feel appears, B is a completely different flavour of crazy, Beyond Birthday is His Own Warning, Bloodplay, Blowing Shit Up, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Don't Like Don't Read, Dubious Consent, F/M, Guns, Happy Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I just want them to be happy okay?, Kinky, Knifeplay, Knives, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rare Pairing, Soundtrack Included, all the fun stuff, crazy loves company, damn some angst and fluff snuck in, dubcon, harley is on rebound, it's beyond birthday duh, my murder kittens, no beta we die like men, problematic faves, read the tags, somewhat out of character behaviour, strawberry jam as a sex toy, sue me, time to wreak havoc, who needs joker?, yes you read that correctly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23326471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleyProtega282/pseuds/HaleyProtega282
Summary: Harley and Joker are no longer together. But crazy loves company, and Beyond is a completely different flavour of crazy.Self-indulgent fix-it, with minimal plot to justify calling it a story. :)(Trigger warning: It has non-con vibes in the beginning, but it gets better.)READ THE TAGS.
Relationships: Beyond Birthday/Harleen Quinzel, Beyond Birthday/Harley Quinn, Harleen Quinzel/Beyond Birthday, Harley Quinn/Beyond Birthday
Series: Murder Kittens™ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678651
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Introduction

It had been two days since Harley and Mistah J had broken up. She was walking through the dark streets, wearing her Suicide Squad outfit. _Good old days_. Things were so much fun back then. And back then he would have burned the world down to save her…

 _Pretty._ Beyond giggled. _And she’ll be even prettier when I soak all those colors in red…_ For now he settled for soaking a cloth in chloroform and sneaking up on his unsuspecting victim-to-be. _Hmm…_ She was carrying a baseball bat over her shoulders, making it harder for him to reach around and sedate her. He snatched the bat with one hand and threw it away, grabbing her waist with the other, but was quickly met with an elbow in the ribs, making him let go. The girl rounded on him: “Oi, that was rude!”

B started giggling maniacally. “Oh, I like you.”, he managed between giggles.

“Thanks!”, her face lit up for a moment before going serious. “But nobody touches my bat.” She advanced, going for a kick at his face, but he caught her leg mid-air. “Yay!”, he pulled her closer: “A play-mate!” _Nevermind the chloroform, I’ll have fun with this one_.

She punched him, pulling her leg back out of his grasp. “No offense, but you seem boring.” She made a reach for her bat but he grabbed her wrists, bodily crowding her into the alley wall. “Allow me to prove you wrong.” He held her wrists in one hand above her head, pulling out a switchblade with the other. His face was serious now, crimson eyes ablaze. He traced the blade along her cheek, just short of breaking skin, closer and closer to her lips. _Oh, I know this game_ , Harley thought, flicking out her tongue to lick the blade. The sharp inhale from the stranger let her know she was on the right track. _This will be too easy_. With a small sigh, she gave him her best bedroom eyes, watching his lips part a little. She bit her lip naughtily, feeling his hold on her wrists grow slightly weaker. _There we go, just keep distracting him_.

It took Beyond a second to compose himself, before he realized he was being played, tightening his grip again. “Nice try.” he whispered in her ear, before licking a strip up her neck, then biting down on her earlobe. Harley gasped, closing her eyes for a moment. _Damn, that should not have felt so good_. The blade travelled lower, small droplets of blood appearing down her neck, and the cutter’s rush taking over her senses. She felt herself tremble as he slashed across her collar bone, then licked the shallow cut. “Still bored?”, he drawled. His voice was hoarse, his breathing quick.

Harley laughed shakily. “Hm, I may have been wrong.” B smirked, then kissed her hard, pressing himself against her. She tasted the blood on his tongue, moaning into the kiss and biting his lip as he pulled away to catch his breath. As he kept kissing her, Beyond pocketed the knife and pulled out the chloroform cloth again. _Best to continue this party somewhere more private. But I can’t have anyone knowing the location of my hideout._ He chuckled at the muffled curse when he pressed the cloth over her mouth and nose, watching her go limp in his arms, and carried her over to his van.

***


	2. Materials and Methods

“That was not necessary.” were the first words Harley spoke upon regaining consciousness. She found herself in some sort of cave. Well, underground hideout, but it was more fun to think of it as a cave.

She cocked her head at the black-haired man, who was now standing over a table full of knives, guns, hand-grenades and other weapons. “Oooooh, toys!” she skipped over to him excitedly.

“Like my collection?”, he asked, snaking his arms around her and nuzzling her neck.

“Mmm, we could really fuck shit up with those. Mister…?”

“B.”

 _Just B?_ She raised her eyebrows. _Oh well_. “Mister B.”, she said with a shrug. “I’m Harley.”

“Harley… Like the bike.” He let his hands roam her body.

“Exactly…” she said, picking up a Desert Eagle and stroking it reverently.

“You have good taste.”, he whispered, before biting down on her shoulder. “Careful though. It’s loaded.”

“It wouldn’t be fun otherwise.” she responded. As if accepting the challenge, she cocked the gun, licked across the barrel and put the muzzle in her mouth, tuning slightly towards him.

“I knew I smelled crazy on you”, he chuckled. “Crazy, crazy, crazy…” He smiled a little, watching her tongue tease the muzzle. “Mmm, now I’m jealous” he growled, tossing the gun away and pushing her onto the bed.

Harley giggled and fake-pouted: “Well what am I gonna play with now?”

Beyond gave her a devious smile. “Stay. I’ll get you something.”

“I’m not very good at following orders”, she teased mischievously.

“Oh, I would just love to teach you a lesson, you brat.” He turned back to the table, grabbing a thick black rope.

“I might behave… Given the right incentive.”, she said, letting him bind her wrists. “You wouldn’t happen to have some explosives? Ones that go boom extra hard?” Her eyes sparkled as she imagined explosions.

His head snapped up at her words. “Now that’s my kind of pillow talk”, he leaned in and kissed her passionately. “What do you wanna blow up?” The very thought of fire was making him hard.

 _Ace Chemicals. Time to really say goodbye_. “A factory. As a final ‘fuck you’ to my ex.”

“Oh, I know all about revenge.” He had spent years plotting against L, after all. He walked over to a safe and came back with a box labelled ‘PETN’: “You think this will do?”

Harley gasped. “Pentaerythritol tetranitrate. The most powerful explosive known to man.”

“Mmm”, he hummed appreciatively. “You know your explosives.” _Fuck, that’s hot._ He pushed her down on the bed, drawing the switchblade again and slicing through her clothes. The blade occasionally pierced her skin, but it only added to the excitement. “Yes…” He quickly shucked off his clothes and sucked on the cuts, drawing out gasps and stifled moans.

“God, you’re perfect.”, he mouthed against her throat as he spread her legs.

“I know.”, she replied, arching against him.

“I can’t wait to torch that place with you. Set the world ablaze.” He accentuated each word with a thrust.

“Mmm, yesss.” She brought her still tied up wrists to his neck, digging her nails into his skin and watching him hiss in pleasure. He stuck his tongue down her throat, speeding up the pace. He kissed and licked down her neck, then starting to bite and suck, relishing the sounds she was making. He wrapped his hands around her throat and paused for a second. But when her eyes flew open with an enthusiastic “yes”, he didn’t hesitate any longer. He choked her as they came almost simultaneously, Harley’s eyes rolling in the back of her head for a moment.

She sighed happily, pulling her arms over his head and drawing him closer. “It’s gonna be some motherfucking fireworks.”, she said, and they both started giggling.


	3. Results and Discussion

“You wanna do the honours?”, Beyond asked, already knowing the answer. Harley gave him an evil grin in return, snatching up the lighter from his hand.

“First things first.”, she said. “Nothing epic gets done without a soundtrack.” She pulled a mini speaker from her purse and connected it to her phone. Fall Out Boy’s _Light ‘Em Up_ started blasting, making him chuckle. “I love that one.”

She handed him the speaker, walking over to the trail of gasoline they poured on their way out. She was positively giddy, thinking about all the PETN now inside the building. Tapping her foot along with the music, she savoured the moment for a while, before twirling a little and chucking the lighter down.

The gasoline was immediately set ablaze, carrying the fiery fury towards the industrial complex. The flames got brighter and more numerous, as the playlist switched to _Play With Fire_ by Sam Tinnesz. But the music was soon drowned out by the thunderous explosions following each other in quick succession.

B walked up to Harley, the inferno mirrored in her eyes. “That is bloody spectacular.”, he said, entranced. _Just like you_. It was a cold night but they felt none of it, warmed by the heat ahead. He knew they should be getting away before the police showed up, but the moment felt so perfect, he didn’t want to break it. He put his arm around her.

“So, uh… Guess your ex is gonna be pissed. Is this his?”

“Not really. But yeah, this should ruin his day. Wait… How do you not know the Joker?”

“I’m new in town… And you could say I lived under a rock for most of my life.” The smile didn’t reach his eyes, as he thought back to Wammy’s. _I wish I had burned that place down_.

Harley noticed the slight melancholy in his voice. “Who should I beat up?”, she asked.

B chuckled. He certainly wouldn’t mind seeing that bat in action. Preferably breaking Watari’s and Roger’s teeth. His giggling got louder, until he was laughing maniacally at that mental image. He sobered suddenly. _The people who stole my childhood… Who put so much pressure on A, until he killed himself… They took our chance at a normal life. L’s too. It wasn’t really his fault, even though I blamed him_...

“Hello? Earth to hottie.” Harley waved a hand in front of his face.

Beyond smiled again, pulling her close. “I was just thinking about what a normal life would be like.”

“’Normal’ is a setting on the dryer.” she said. “And besides, wouldn’t that be boring? In a world of copies, we’re unique.”

 _Except I spent most of my life trying to be the best copy possible_. He looked into her eyes, her crazy colourful makeup, and the bright smile she was giving him. _But maybe it’s not to late. To start something original._ He grinned and pulled her in for a quick kiss. “You know, I suddenly have the strongest craving for strawberry jam.”, he said, dragging her away from the sirens in the distance.


	4. Conclusion

The boombox at B’s place was beating out the bass boosted techno at maximum volume, but luckily there were no neighbours to complain. Harley had let her hair down – literally and metaphorically – and improvised a pole to dance around, determined to celebrate in every way possible. She poured some more champagne, handing Beyond his Bloody Mary.

“Here’s to new beginnings!”, she toasted.

“To craziness.”, B added.

They drank and giggled still taking in the arsonists’ rush.

Harley straddled B’s lap, fingers yanking into his hair. “I want you.”, she whispered before kissing him hard. He pulled her shirt over her head then wrapped his arms tightly around her. She pressed open-mouth kisses along his neck, taking off his black leather jacket and shirt.

“Harley”, he breathed, grabbing fistfuls of her hair. She licked his scars, then bit him to make new marks, fresh memories of better times. As they took off the last of their clothes, an idea struck him. “Get on the bed and stay still.”

“What are you plotting?”, she asked, amused.

He went to grab the half-full jar of strawberry jam, turning back to her with a smirk. “Something delicious.” She laughed, but went along with it. “You see? Weird is a side-effect of awesome.”

“Mmm”, he agreed, smearing jam all over her. She giggled at the sensation, unable to resist getting some on his face, only to lick it off herself. “Didn’t I tell you to stay still?” He tried to sound angry, but he was enjoying this too much.

“And I told you I’m not good with orders.”, she grinned playfully.

Beyond bit her lightly, then continued licking off the jam, as she threaded her fingers through his hair. Finally, she pulled him in for a deep kiss, tasting the jam and humming into the kiss. And as they rolled around in the sheets, sticky and crazy and beautiful, she knew that the past was behind her, and the future, the future seemed colourful and sweet.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! <3  
> Here's a playlist for my murder kittens:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHTVWIcipASk__uPQill4pDgiVMLpkGng  
> Kudos and comments are always welcome! <3 xoxo
> 
> P.S. Did you notice what I did with the chapter titles? :P  
> P.P.S. I'm on Tumblr: haley-protega


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